Posted on February 14, 2010 - by Hubba

With Love to My Darlin’

Bonnie Jean has been bugging me about sharing my reflections on her and relationships here on Hubba’s House.  And somehow she thought Valentine’s Day would be the perfect opportunity to do so.

Volumes have been written about women and relationships, the main point being that men don’t understand women, and further women don’t understand women either.  I am afraid I am not going to add anything meaningful to the discussion.

So with much trepidation, here we go.

The Rules for Men in Relationships-

1.  She is always right-  She is always right.  I wrote that twice because it contains the fullness of meaning, and because YOU need to remember that.  Agree with her all the time.

2.  NO!  Sometimes she’s wrong, on purpose-  Go back, it’s a trap, no don’t agree with that you idiot!

3.  She is beautiful, and needs to be told that-  Go ahead, tell her.  Several times a day.  She loves it.

4.  How can I possibly be beautiful?  I don’t know exactly what you’re trying to get, but you’re lying, you bastard!-  Also see #6

5.  She needs you right beside her-  Preferably with your arms locked tight around her.  I get the feeling that usually in this women’s fantasy, there is wind blowing through her hair.

6.  Go away!  Can’t you see I need to be alone?-  By all means go away.  Fast.  But don’t go too far, and don’t forget your cell phone, because you’re going to get this call-

7.  Where in the hell are you?  We were going to go to the Sarah Mclaghan concert/replace the flooring and now you ruined it!-  Whatever you do, DO NOT say what’s on your mind, namely that you didn’t think replacing the flooring with the stormcloud you just left was that good of an idea.  Also try to avert your eyes so she can’t see what you’re thinking.

8. Somehow, she really is worth it-  So it ain’t perfect.  Nothing is.  But keep in mind that she’s still here too, and she’s one more woman than you had, you ugly toad, and some other guy would apparently love to take her abuse.  Also, you’re not perfect either now are you?

So there, another inconclusive piece about relationships.  And Bonnie Jean, you really are worth it.  You’re a beautiful, strong woman who has overcome obstacles easily, and I couldn’t live without you.  Love, love darlin’.  Happy Valentines Day.  And no I’m not lying.  Well, ok, some of that above was exaggerated, maybe even sarcasm but I wasn’t lying about the- no, not that part I meant every word of that.  It’s just that- well, this was your idea in the first place, don’t forget that, and… Where are you going? What?  What’d I say?