It must have been a sign of the chaos in old Elm Springs that there was no ESN last week, and indeed there was chaos. It could be said without fear of exaggeration that Elm Springs almost went to hell last week. While the usual social happenings of last week will have to be forgotten, some attempt must be made to chronicle the events of last weekend before diving into this weeks happenings. Please take a moment, dear reader, to make another gallon of iced tea and turn your air conditioner selector knob to 10 before continuing.

The weather last week varied from hot to intolerable, with Satan’s breath blowing most of the time, which helped to set the stage for the wild weekend. Saturday dawned clear and bright, and hot right from the start, as the “Upland Trasks” began preparations for what was to be the third annual Farm Bureau picnic. There was a large white tent set up on the rim of the Cheyenne River, flanked by two “Porta-Potties.” About one o’clock in the afternoon, the fun began as the windrower mowing around the sight of the picnic started the first fire of the day. This fire burned right under the tent and tables and chairs and charred the picnic area. Intrepid firefighters from near and far made their way to the “Upland Trask” ranch and banded together to put this fire out rather quickly.

If this story ended here, it still would have been a good one. The “Upland Trasks” still planned to host 300+ people and a band in a fire-blackened area, with one hour to prepare. But unfortunately for the kind citizens, the story does not end there.

About five o’clock that afternoon, a fast moving thunderstorm swept across Elm Springs, with frequent ground lightning, a strong wind, and not enough rain to do anything. Matt Trask, on his way home from a second wasted trip to Wall for ice (for the party!) was reminded of the James Taylor song, where he sings “I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain,” as fires broke out in every direction, and large sporadic raindrops only served to obscure his vision through the windshield.

In no time at all, Elm Springs resembled the First Battle of Bull Run, as the picnickers, who had come to Elm Springs expecting a party, were faced with the choice of fighting fire or fleeing for their lives. Worse, there were now four new fires along the Belle Fourche River, from the Huddleston Bridge to Dalzell, and the fire trucks and fighters were regrouping from the first one.

At this point, further narration is virtually impossible. The wind blew steadily from Saturday night to Monday morning, to every point on the compass. The two largest fires, one north of Elm Springs and one west of the Forks of the river, started and restarted alternately, keeping a large army of fire trucks scrambling. The west fire jumped the Belle Fourche River Saturday night and threatened to burn the Tim and Linda Haugen residence, and it was feared Sunday morning that if the north fire got onto the flat, that it would go through downtown Elm Springs. Sometime Sunday night, the wind blew the big tent down and knocked the “Porta Potties” over.

These “snapshots” of the weekend should give readers of the ESN some idea of the scene:

Ryan Elshere fighting fire with a brand new pair of jeans, with the tags still attached;

Lonnie Arneson towing disabled firefighting vehicles out of the Belle Fourche River breaks;

RoseMary Trask trying to coordinate firefighting efforts and amuse the remaining picnickers, who had assembled at the “Upland Trask” house;

Matt Trask sleeping in his pickup;

George Micheal and Jack Wieser, who seemed to enjoy themselves immensely as they drove through the hottest parts of the fire, trying to put them out;

A gaggle of young single women handing out food to firefighters;

Matt Trask posing as a firefighter so that he could eat food, and also flirt with the women;

Linda Haugen packing her belongings, while Tim Haugen and Brady O’Rourke disced a fire break at the back door;

Joe Trask commanding a small army of boys in the supervision of the first fire, which never restarted;

Mike Heathershaw trying to find a ride home;

Matt Trask eating pancakes;

Bleary eyed, exhausted firefighters trying to figure out where to go next;

Matt Trask on the fire line, with a pillow in his hand;

Dave Humphrey and Jim Jaquot dissappearing in the Belle Fourche River breaks in the dark of night to fight the fire, with a Jeep and Matt’s obscenely bright flashlight (his only real contribution to the firefighting effort);

Leo and Rosalie Stangle driving through the smoke and confusion to find their grandson Dace Kelly, who had come out to Elm Springs with Matt Trask for a “fun weekend;”

The new Elm Springs fire truck on its second and third missions, with Morris Linn at the wheel;

And now for this weeks rather subdued news;

The weather here in Elm Springs has remained the same, although thankfully no new fires have started. People kept a watchful and weary eye on the previous fires through Tuesday. Haying and harvesting continue, but everyone is very careful.

Letty Jean Burmeister, long time resident of Elm Springs, was laid to rest Saturday at the Elm Springs Cemetery, following a funeral service in Rapid City. Many kind citizens attended both the funeral and the burial, and the subsequent gathering at the Elm Springs Hall.

Lawrence and Doris Burke went to Chadron NE Saturday to ride a passenger train, enjoying a five-course meal in the dining car, which explains Matt Trasks newfound interest in passenger trains. On the way home, they stopped at Ft. Robinson.

Clyde Arneson hosted Gary Gilbert of New Underwood overnight Monday. Morris Linn was a visitor twice on Sunday.

Ryan and Chrissy Elshere dropped the kids off at Jim and Lana Elshere’s near Midland Friday before going to rodeos in Pretty Prairie, KS and Woodward, OK.

Larry, Peggy and Jack Gravatt attended the wedding of Jordy Soesbe to Jessica Van der Laan at the Chapel in the Hills Saturday. Sunday, Carter Gravatt, his girlfriend Teresa, and her parents Calvin and Ruth Rehborg of Minnesota visited the Gravatts, enjoying Jack’s tour of the ranch. Andy Linn was also a visitor Sunday.

The Sam Johnstons attended the 4-H rodeo in New Underwood over the weekend.

Stephanie Trask accompanied Kody Devries to the Ian Tyson concert in Deadwood Sunday night.

Andy Linn returned Tuesday from his fishing trip to Canada with his in-laws. A hunting or fishing trip to Canada or Alaska is rather routine business these days, and certainly pales alongside an African safari. Pat Trask was a running visitor to the Andy Linns Sunday morning, and Kelli and Emily Linn bicycled to the “Upland Trasks” Sunday afternoon.

John and Jean Linn attended a Republican doings at the Schneider residence near Tilford Sunday afternoon.

Monday, Shirrise and Kassandra Linn had lunch in Rapid City with Peg Ireland before visiting Grandma Arlene Talley. Tuesday Shirrise visited Brian and Misti Walker, who now live permanently in Union Center, while Kassandra spent the day with Grandma Jean. Wednesday, Shirrise and Kassandra had lunch with Sandy Van Vleck in Wall before gymnastics. That afternoon, Morris and Kassandra attended Andy’s Canadian fish fry, and Charlotte Wilsey was a visitor. Thursday, Jean and Emily Linn visited Shirrise for her birthday in the morning. The Jim Jepsens and Nick Trask were supper guests and Clyde Arneson was an after supper guest. Friday, Cheryll and Allysa Oberlander treated Shirrise and Kassandra to lunch in Rapid City for Shirrise’ birthday. Saturday young Jace O’Rourke was a visitor at the Morris Linns, and Sunday Allysa Oberlander and Matt Trask were visitors.

Cary, Pam, John, Coby and Clay Tines and Amanda Humphrey attended the Miller family reunion in Chamberlain over the weekend.

Tom and Shelia Trask returrned to the “Elk Creek Trask” ranch from deepest darkest Africa Wednesday. Sunday, the “Elk Creek Trasks” hosted Juston Eisenbraun, the Kenny Wilsons, the Philip Wilsons, and the Jim Smiths.

The “Upland Trasks” hosted Joe, Tom, and Pete Bruch of Sturgis Monday night. Thursday and Friday various “Upland Trasks” went to Rapid City. Stephanie Trask manned a booth as Ms. Stockgrower at the Ellsworth Appreciation Days Friday. Sunday, Tom, Pete and Theresa Bruch and John and Mauri Bestgen of Sturgis visited the “Upland Trasks,” and Ashley and Caitlin Turgeon came out with the Trask girls, who had gone to Wall. The “Upland Trask,” Bruch, Bestgen, and Turgeon kids went to the Coby Shearer residence across the Cheyenne River.

Matt Trask, unembarrassed by his many pretences from the previous weekend, sauntered gaily through another week, imposing upon everyone who crossed his path. On Tuesday, he attended a birthday party for Matthew Heathershaw, where he ate heartily and then borrowed a pickup to return to Cuny Table, clipping a buffalo on the way back. How the young Heathershaw child is supposed to become a good Christian with a godfather like that is hard to say. On Friday, Matt stopped at the Wall Drug Store to buy a new shirt and ended up buying two new shirts. He then crossed the street to the Cactus Cafe, where he encountered Ashley Turgeon in need of a ride to Wasta. Matt promised to give her a ride to Wasta as soon as he had eaten. When Matt had finished eating, he and his make-believe girlfriend, complete with flowers given to her by someone else, visited the Big Green Trask House, where, in his sole act of kindness for the week, Matt prevented Uncle Milton from taking a walk in the heat of the afternoon. Matt and Ashley extracted a solemn promise from Milton that he would not venture outside until it had cooled off, and then went to Wasta where Matt dropped Ashley off and visited Dan Turgeon, hastily explaining that “we’re just friends” and “certainly I have only the most noble of intentions” etc. etc. On Saturday, Matt persuaded Kody DeVries to accompany him to Wall and Quinn, where they picked up Matts vehicle and dropped off the buffalomobile.

Sunday, Matt picked up Sean Troxel for a quick trip to New Underwood, where Matt bought a 1978 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz. He had great fun roaring around Elm Springs in his new car Sunday afternoon, wearing a brand new girly-pink baseball cap. Kody DeVries was a coffee visitor at the Matt Trask residence Saturday morning.

Kenny and Janet Wilson visited at the Marvin Anders residence Friday. On Sunday, Kenny, Janet and Kelli visited at Tucky and Linda Tifts.

JW and Dara Wrachford and Sean Troxel had supper at the Cary Tines residence Friday night.

The kind citizens, and in particular Tim and Linda Haugen, would like to extend a very sincere thank you to everyone who helped put out the fires. They also hope you don’t get that stupid James Taylor song stuck in your head.