Posted on February 16, 2010 - by Hubba

Look Out!

Continuing our discussion from Valentine’s Day, I think I heard that every man compares his significant other to his mother, or something like that.

My mother for several years was pregnant almost all the time, which seemed to determine her mood.  In between pregnancies it seemed she was serene, almost Buddha-like.  These periods were the punctuations between pregnancies, during which she raged from exhausted to enraged.  Here I would like to pause to make it clear that this was totally understandable.  The woman had twelve kids for heaven’s sake, and the toddlers didn’t dissappear just because she was having another one.

Anyway, when she got done having kids, it took her awhile to adjust.  That is, she couldn’t figure out how to be mad without being pregnant.  It took her a couple of years to figure it out, but she has, um, improved dramatically so to speak.

I should pause again to point out that this is still entirely understandable, because we all have our days, and that Mom is not a violent woman.

But anyway, on the rare occasion that she does get hopping mad (as my Bonnie would say, “slingin’ snot over both ears”) she occasionally will leave.

This is accomplished in the van at the you-don’t-want-to-mess-with-me speed of, oh say 55 miles per hour.

And she usually ends up drinking Hardee’s or McDonald’s coffee and reading something like Lives of the Saints or My Daily Devotional.

‘Cause she’s bad like that.