Posted on June 30, 2009 - by Hubba

Ask a Ranch Wife on a Parts Run

Ok so this has been done to death, most notably at www.theonion.com, but who cares-

Dear Ranch Wife On a Parts Run;

My son entered junior high this year, and he has gained a few friends who could be a bad influence.  One of them frequently skips school and has been rumored to use drugs.

My son is a very compassionate person, and he tells me these kids really need a friend.  They are from broken homes, etc. etc.  I don’t want to discourage him from helping people, but how can I mitigate their influence?

Sincerely;

Worried in Tucson

Dear Worried;

I don’t know much about this thing, I think it goes on the baler.  What?  Oh, oh yeah, it’s a John Deere, those are the green ones right?  Yeah it’s a John Deere, that other hay cutter thingamajiggy is a New Ferguson or something, New Holland maybe.

I don’t know what the model number is.  I think it’s a 586- oh the part number.  My husband was supposed to put that in the van, but he forgot to.  Maybe I’ll try and call him and see if he knows.

This damn thing never works.  There’s no signal.  “Can you hear me now?”  I’d like to run into that yuppie feller sometime.  Take three steps off the interstate and this thing is worthless.  I’d like to take it and shove it up that yuppy guy’s- Anna, where’s Dusty?  He was just here a minute ago.  Go out back and see if he’s in the tractors or something.

Well, I can’t get ahold of him.  I guess I’ll go over to the hardware store and get that pump valve deal while I’m waiting.  I suppose I’ll have to do this all over again over there.  If you see Dusty, could you just lock him in a broom closet or something?