Posted on July 5, 2010 - by Hubba

Arf, Arf!

A few weeks ago, Bob and Patty Joe Timmons went to a 4-H camping/workday over at Marcus.  Another group was holding Bible School at the Marcus Church.

Patty couldn’t be much help with painting at four years old, so the Bible School people welcomed her into their classes, and then enthusiastically invited her to appear in the Bible School Program at the end of the week.  We all got dressed up and went over to watch her in the program.

The problem was, the kids had learned the songs for the program in the afternoons and Patty Joe had only attended in the mornings.  They put her right in the middle and she just stood there silently.  Looking nice, and smiling, but very obviously not singing.

Fast forward two weeks, and I get a call from Hazel Kalkbrenner asking if I would emcee the Wasta Talent Show on the Fourth of July as I have done for the past two years.  After consulting with Bonnie, I agreed.  Then I decided we should be in the Talent Show too, all three of us.  I figured we could perform intergenerational Timmons’ favorite and Patti Page hit “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window.”  We sing it all the time, and Patty Joe has learned to do the “arf, arfs.”

In case you had forgotten how it goes, here’s the chorus-

How much is that doggie in the window (arf, arf)

The one with the waggedy tail

How much is that doggie in the window (arf, arf)

I do hope that doggie’s for sale

One night at supper I said to Patty “Do you want to sing with me and Momma at the Talent Show in Wasta?”  Patty gave me a long look like I was kind of slow and said “Well Matt, when I went to Marcus to a program,” and here she shrugged “I didn’t know a words.”  Very matter of fact, without any embarassment or shame, informing me that she was unqualified to perform at programs or talent shows.

“Yeah well, I thought me and Momma could sing ‘How Much Is That Doggie In The Window’ and you could do the ‘arf, arfs.’  Do you think you could do that?”  She scrunched up her face.  “Maybe I can,” she said.  “And you won’t get scared on a stage?” I asked.  Patty frowned thoughtfully.  “I don’t fink so.”

So that was that.  We practiced a time or two, and the night before the Talent Show we performed for the grandparents.  They thought it was wonderful.  But that was at home.

On the Fourth we went to church and then down to my mom and dad’s.  In the afternoon we took a tour through Wall Drug (Patty got “so scared from a big dinosaur”) and bought Patty a pretty sunflower dress for the Talent Show.  Then we headed to Wasta.

The Wasta Celebration was a little light this year.  Attendance ebbs and flows at everything, and there are lots of things to do on the Fourth of July.  It was a heavenly evening as the Talent Show began, with the sun slanting through the cottonwoods in the park.  I took the stage to ann0unce the performers and provide meaningless banter in between performances.  Bonnie and Patty Joe sat in the audience.

We were on second to last, right before the audience sing along of “This Land Is Your Land.”  I called Bonnie and Patty up to the stage, and Bonnie provided meaningless banter while I donned my guitar.  There was a cordless microphone and a microphone with a cord, so we gave Patty the cordless microphone.  She stood in front of us and Bonnie and I clustered around the other microphone.  With a one and a two and a three, we were off.

And Patty Joe turned into the Otis Redding of “arf, arf” singers.  She occasionally added her part to the lines ending in ‘tail’ and ’sale’ and occasionally she would trade “arf, arf” for “bark, bark” but she wasn’t scared at all, and she was right on cue.  She walked right out to the front of the stage and even paced back and forth a bit, smiling like she was at the Grand Ol’ Opry.  Afterwards she got a free ice cream cone and a dollar for being “so cute.”

I think I have a star on my hands.  Oh Jesus, help me.